Michael Kell

Good but Better

mikekell — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 15:26:55 +0000

As parents, we feel the need to get our kids involved in all kinds of activities. We want them to have a work ethic so we help them get a job. We want them to have fun so we get them involved in sports. We want them to be socially conscious so we have them volunteer. We challenge our kids to get involved in good things. Here’s where the conflict comes in. The Bible teaches that we should be consistent and follow through with our commitments. But what happens when our commitment to good things conflicts with our commitment to church and our faith? We all see this. A soccer game on a Sunday… Football practice on a Wednesday night… So much AP History Homework, the student has no time for anything else… So what do we parents do?
First, attendance and activity at church does not equal spiritual growth. Simply coming to church does not mean that someone is growing closer to Christ. However, I have not seen someone growing spiritually who isn’t consistently coming to church. There’s the paradox. Coming to church doesn’t make you a good Christian but we are told to not forsake assembling together and our faith needs others.
The role of parents is to lead the child and teach them to put their faith first. We need to help students choose the great things over the good things. This is rarely easy by the way. Often, the good things are fun and satisfying, which means the student will likely not want to miss. Often, the good things are for a short period of time (8-week season, only once a month, just one tournament, etc)… But, the reality is you have to start somewhere. You have to draw the line somewhere. Those decisions to choose other things over church involvement slowly begin to build up. I’m not suggesting that if you miss church on Sunday, you are going to be a serial killer next week. But, I am saying that every decision has a consequence. Every decision communicates something. Every decision tells the child what is valuable and what is less valuable. Help kids make those tough decisions.
Be creative. Does the student waste time when they come home that could be maximized so they could accomplish everything? Is there another tournament that they could be entered in? Is the event/volunteer opportunity available in another city on another day? Be creative. Help the student come to a conclusion that allows them to do all things…. if possible.
Unfortunately, it isn’t always possible. These are the defining moments in a student’s life. These are the moments when a student determines what they value and what is important to them. Don’t miss these moments. These decisions often have consequences… but what faith decision doesn’t? Don’t let your child back away from making tough decisions. Tough decisions are coming. Help them make those tough decisions in the safety of your home. Be creative. Be firm. Be present. Be a parent.

Bad Boy or Bad Behavior?

mikekell — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:56:54 +0000

I was in a restaurant and heard a child fussing. This was nothing new or out of the ordinary. But, when I hear a child fussing, I always perk up to hear how the parent(s) handle it. The picked one of my least favorite routes to take. She went the route of calling the child, “Bad Boy!”

I always cringe when I hear a child called “Bad Boy.” My question is this: Is the child a bad child or is the behavior bad? Is the child a nice boy who made a bad decision? I am in no way suggesting that we condone the actions and tell the child that they are behaving well when the opposite is true. However, I am also not a fan of speaking that reality onto a child. The more I tell my child that they are bad, the more they are going to begin believing it. Then, from that foundation of “I am a bad child,” my child will begin to live. This will lead to and justify a world of bad decisions.

Is it possible to discipline and go after the behavior rather than the individual? I try to say things like…

“We don’t act like that.” ”You’re a good boy but that was not a nice thing to do.” “Why would you do that? That’s not like you?”

I want my child to think, “I am a good boy, I should act good.” Also, I had a friend say it in this way: “Too many times parents are speaking curses on to their child with the labels they give them.” That’s scary.

What do you think? What kind of things do you say to your child?

Only Bowling

mikekell — Mon, 21 May 2012 05:56:02 +0000

It is never just bowling. Have you ever dealt with an event being viewed as just a fun event? It’s these types of events that become used as punishments (by disallowing attendance). But, I think that every event should have a purpose. If not, how is your youth group different than the YMCA? Youth ministry isn’t just fun events. I have found that the “fun events” can have a powerful effect on the “spiritual events.” If a student isn’t comfortable chatting with me in a car ride, will he ever be comfortable talking about the most important things? These times establish credibility and create opportunities for later. Also, I have had some great conversations about the faith while students have their guard down. The hard thing for a youth pastor is understanding your role on these events. I am not there to play or have fun. I am there to look for chances to engage students with Christ. I have to ensure that I stay focused on my role in the event. How do you respond to the thought that all you do is play dodgeball?

Lame Excuse

mikekell — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 02:46:22 +0000

So… my blog was hosted on a site and basically I lost everything… Every post and my back-up is corrupted. Figured. Oh well. So, I have to rebuild and recreate. So, sorry for the delay. There’s a lot of bad links and info on this site. I am cleaning all that up. Thanks for your patience.
Mike

What makes it right?

mikekell — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 12:13:00 +0000

I was recently told that abortion should be legal because if it is not, that will send women into the back alleys and dark rooms for abortions… Something isn’t right simply because if you disallow it, people will do it anyway. Just because someone is going to do an act doesn’t mean we make that act legal so it is safer for that person. The implications for that logic are severe. We don’t give handgun classes to someone who wants to commit a murder so that they don’t miss and strike a bystander. Rape isn’t legalized to make it easier for the rapist. The job of the government is to protect the innocent. In the case of abortion, the innocent is the unborn child and the aggressor is the intiator of the abortion. Government limits people’s rights to do what they want with their body all the time. I can’t use my body to hurt yours. I can’t use my mouth to slander your reputation. The bottom line with the abortion issue is when does life begin. Conception or Birth. The hypocrisy of the abortion issue is the outlawing of partial-birth abortion. They recognize that its a baby at that point. If life begins at conception then, it is murder from that point on. If not at conception, it is inconsistent to say it begins at viability because that is not a determinable or consistent time. So the only other option is birth. And, if a pro-choice person is consistent then they have to be willing to abort a baby seconds before it could come out full-term. The pro-choice position is logically incosistent and flawed… aside from it being murder.

Feeling discriminated against…

mikekell — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:52:00 +0000

I have long since felt discriminated against. Is it for my color, my gender or my lack of hair? Nope. It’s for the way I do ministry. It seems to me that there is a general awe of churches that are non-traditional. There are churches identified by hip-hop, truck stops and flip-flops. These are then labeled as cutting-edge and relevant. While they very well may be doing great and effective ministry to a segment of society, labeling them as cutting-edge and relevant has some interesting implications. The implication is that if doing certain things is what makes them relevant then if you are not doing those things, you are not relevant. Within the church growth circles, there is no greater sin than being irrelevant. As a Pastor at a church that would likely be described as fairly traditional, I resent being deemed as irrelevant simply because my Senior Pastor wears a suit instead of ripped jeans. My concern with a church’s identity being wrapped up in a style (type of music, casual clothing, etc.) is that styles inevitably change and people change away from a style. At my church, we strive for it to be our love and sense of community to be what draws people to our church. I’d rather be known for our love then for what we wear. Anyway, Isn’t it by our love that they will know we are Christians?

How to be Pro-Life and Pro-Women’s Rights…

mikekell — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 23:05:00 +0000

I recently read a Facebook comment about how could Governor Sarah Palin consider herself a feminist/crusader for Women’s rights and also be pro-life. While I am not sure of Palin’s logic, I would consider myself someone who is pro-life and someone who is in support of women’s rights. First, I think we need to define what it means to support women’s rights. I think that means wanting women to be able to do what is best for them and to live free of harmful restrictions. This does not mean that women be allowed to do anything and everything they want. For example, this does not mean that women be allowed to blow themselves up in crowded restaurants or bus stops… no matter how bad they want to, if their religion says it is ok or if they think it is something that will really help them in life. So women’s rights is wanting the best for women and wanting them free of harmful restrictions. Unfortunately, women’s rights has almost been redefined to mean that you are pro-abortion. The problem here is the underlying premise that abortion is even good for women. I think the issue of how abortion is bad for women has been discussed well and explained by better people elsewhere on the Internet… Here: Lutherans for Life Site and others… So, if abortion is bad for women then someone who is pro-women’s rights SHOULD be opposed to abortion. It’s ironic that women, who are hurt by abortion, are often the most vocal proponents for abortion.

Need a Missions Trip?

mikekell — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:05:00 +0000

I emailed another youth pastor who is considering coming to Southern California to serve our church… Here’s a sample schedule that I came up with.
Sunday
Arrive Sunday early evening.
8:30 PM:Arrive Liberty Church, Meet & give you history/idea of who we are..
9:15 PM: Depart for Host Homes/Hotel/Sleep at Church.

Could stay in host homes or at the church… I’d recommend host homes because then we can have the host homes provide a breakfast.

Monday
9 AM- Morning Devotion
10-Noon: Door-to-Door Evangelism with our students. Maybe pass out flyers for a Backyard Bible Club/Soccer Sports Camp in a park.
Noon- Sack Lunch in a park
1-2: Door-to-Door…
2: Head back to church. Get off feet & relax/open up game room.
3: Head to LA Rescue Mission to serve & eat dinner. Do Evening Chapel service.
Return around 10pm.

Tuesday
9 AM- Morning Devotion
10-Noon: Door-to-Door Evangelism with our students. Maybe pass out flyers for a Backyard Bible Club/Soccer Sports Camp in a park.
Noon-3: Backyard Bible Club/ Soccer Sports Outreach Camp-
3 PM: Host Homes pick up or back to church to relax. (May want to shower though from soccer)
5 PM: Dinner in the host home.
6:30 PM- Meet at church
7 PM: Head to local shelter for battered families… Bring ice cream and work with children.
9 PM: Back to church and then to homes.

Wednesday
9 AM- Morning Devotion
10-Noon: Door-to-Door Evangelism with our students. Maybe pass out flyers for a Backyard Bible Club/Soccer Sports Camp in a park.
Noon-3: Backyard Bible Club/ Soccer Sports Outreach Camp-
3 PM: Back to church.
5 PM: Dinner at the church
6:30 PM: Wednesday evening Bible Study- You guys lead entire thing… testimonies, P&W, lesson, game, etc…
8 PM: Head to Homes

Thursday
9 AM- Morning Devotion
10-Noon: Door-to-Door Evangelism with our students. Pass out flyers for Block Party
Noon-3: Backyard Bible Club/ Soccer Sports Outreach Camp-
3 PM: Back to church.
3:30 PM: Head to Laguna Beach (with our students) for Bonfire & P&W on the beach
11 PM; Return to Church/Head to homes.

Friday
9 AM- Morning Devotion
10 AM- Community Beautification Project (Work at Edgemont Elementary School? Paint Play area?)
Lunch on Site
3 PM- Back to church
4 PM: Go to set-up for Block Party
6 PM: Block Party at the Church or a member’s home… Chick-Fil-A cater?
9 PM: Back at church/ Head to homes.

Saturday
Disneyland/Hollywood- Play

Sunday
9 AM- Lead Sunday School
10 AM- Worship Service
Noon- Fellowship Meal at Church.
Afternoon off-
6 PM- Student Bible Study
8 PM: Head to Homes

Monday
Depart. (If afternoon flight, then you can do Hollywood in the morning…)

Want to come to Southern California?

Why I do See You at the Pole.

mikekell — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:54:00 +0000

Why do I promote the event: See You at the Pole?
I have recently had some interesting discussions about whether or not an event that encourages students to pray publicly in their schools is necessary and/or biblical… Here’s some benefits that I see:

Students making their faith public at school
Students seeing who some other Christians are.
Students talking about why they stand at the pole
Students thinking about unsaved students at their school.
If you linger back, you can interact with the students who are walking by and asking about what is going on…

The key to See You at the Pole is two-fold

1. Training students to be prepared to talk about it. Students need to vocalize to other students what they are doing and why they are doing it. Why are they praying? Why are they not ashamed of it?

2. Having more then just one event/program/service/training/thing to not only train students to grow closer to Christ but also to reach the lost. It’s utlizing it as part of a comprehensive ministry that not only equips and challenges students to live out their faith in both and public and private manner on their school campuses but is an intentional outreach to unsaved/unchurched students on the campus.